Communication

Be a better you.

Improve your communication with another person.

A few tips from Linda Talley, "The Body Language Expert" to use at home or at the office.

So simple to do. No energy needed.

1. Instead of talking to another person using “hitler” hands, turn them around with palms facing up. This is less threatening and indicates a desire for “coming together” in community. People will tend to be more open with you during discussions or giving feedback.

2. If you’re sitting down, instead of leaning back in your chair, lean towards the other person. This shows interest and empathy.
3. Move your chair so that you’re sitting at a 45 degree angle to the other person vs the confrontational position where you are directly across/in front of them. This helps the other person relax by taking pressure off the conversation.
4. Keep your legs and arms uncrossed. Many people tell me it’s just comfortable for them to sit with their legs or arms crossed and my response is: “Yes, but what does it make the other person feel like?”
5. Refuse to walk and talk about business. It’s a waste of time anyway because neither one of you are listening to what is being said. You are watching the other person’s movement. When you really want to understand the other person, stand still, in an open, positive position and talk or listen.

When you make the other person comfortable, they will relax, exhale and you will learn a lot more about them.

PAC remembered

Wilder Penfield’s (a Canadian Brain surgeon) 1950s studies revealing that the brain records everything that comes into our conscious awareness is verified by current neuroscience studies using fRMI. This translates to me as a reason to relook and update my thinking about Eric Berne’s model of Parent, Adult, and Child as a tool to help other people get more of what they want out of life.

Remember Berne’s theory is called Transactional Analysis.

Transactional Analysis (or TA as it is often called) is a model of people and relationships that was developed during the 1960s by Dr. Eric Berne. It is based on two notions: first that we have three parts or 'ego-states' to our 'personality. The other assumption is that these converse with one another in 'transactions' (hence the name).

Parent, Adult and Child

We each have internal models of parents, children and also adults, and we play these roles with one another in our relationships. We even do it with ourselves, in our internal conversations.

Parent
There are two forms of Parent we can play.
The Nurturing Parent is caring and concerned and often may appear as a mother-figure (though men can play it too). They seek to keep the Child safe and offer unconditional love, calming them when they are troubled.
The Controlling (or Critical) Parent, on the other hand, tries to make the Child do as the parent wants them to do, perhaps transferring values or beliefs or helping the Child to understand and live in society. They may also have negative intent, using the Child as a whipping-boy or worse.

Adult
the Adult in us is the 'grown up' rational person who talks reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting. The Adult is comfortable with themselves and is, for many of us, our 'ideal self'.

Child
There are three types of Child we can play.
The Natural Child is largely un-self-aware and is characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yahoo, etc.). They like playing and are open and vulnerable.
The cutely-named Little Professor is the curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff (often much to their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Together with the Natural Child they make up the Free Child.
The Adaptive Child reacts to the world around them, either changing themselves to fit in or rebelling against the forces they feel.

Want to refresh or know more about TA --check out

http://www.itaa-net.org/ta/keyideas.htm

GTD Methodology

The task we all have in today’s world is finding better ways to work and live. David Allen’s GTD (Getting Things Done) methodology will help do just that.

Don’t believe me. Check him out. It’s as easy as 1,2,3.

Step 1.
Listening to his promo alone will deliver you at least one tip you will be able to use in getting things done.

http://ow.ly/3UTH

Step 2.
Plan 45 minutes to listen and look at this seminar on YouTube.

http://ow.ly/3UKF

Step 3.
Go to Amazon and buy his book for just $9.12.

http://ow.ly/3UIN

I know! You just don’t have time.

Wrong, you just don’t want to make time to change the way you do things to make you more efficient, effective and productive.

Plan your work to include David Allen in a time spot this week and then work your plan.

Make every day a gr8 day.

The voice in your head.

Do you talk to yourself?

Did you know the human brain averages 65,000 thoughts a day.

And most people have the same 65,000 thoughts the next day. Here's something else to chew on. Brain scientists determined there is a portion of our brain called the "Reticular Activating System". It's a fancy term for software in our head which focuses our attention on what you ask it to.

Example: Quickly look around you and count how many blue objects you can see. Without looking again tell me...how many red objects did you see? My guess is you counted the blue...and you drew a blank with the reds.

This is an experiment that helps prove if someone is focused on failure...the brain starts showing them more failure. So if people aren't changing their thoughts...their brain is pulling them towards the same thing day in and day out. A big success secret is learning how to control your thoughts.

Manage the little voice in your head with positives.

Social Intelligence

Being a better You by increasing your Self-Management.

Self-management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to actively choose what you say and do.

SELF-MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
1. Breathe Right
2. Create an Emotion vs. Reason List
3. Make Your Goals Public
4. Count to Ten
5. Sleep On It
6. Talk To a Skilled Self-Manager
7. Smile and Laugh More
8. Set Aside Some Time in Your Day for Problem
Solving
9. Take Control of Your Self-Talk
10. Visualize Yourself Succeeding
11. Clean Up Your Sleep Hygiene
12. Focus Your Attention on Your Freedoms Rather than
Your Limitations
13. Stay Synchronized
14. Speak to Someone Who is Not Emotionally Invested
in Your Problem
15. Learn a Valuable Lesson from Everyone You
Encounter
16. Put a Mental Recharge into Your Schedule
17. Accept That Change is Just around the Corner
***************************************************
Go on and do it!
Be a better you.
I can help - http://www.wilsonmotivational.com/

Highly Successful People

ON HABITS

This is a great list created by LifeHack, of qualities that successful people have, which have been noted in many books on the subject:

They look for and find opportunities where others see nothing.

They find lessons while others only see problems.

They are solution focused.

They don't blame, & take complete responsibility for their actions and outcomes.

They always find a way to maximize their potential & use what they have effectively.

They are busy, productive and proactive.

They align themselves with like-minded people.

They are ambitious.

They have clarity and certainty about what they want.

They innovate instead of imitate.

They don't procrastinate.

They are life-long learners.

Their career is not their identity, it's their job.

They are more interested in what is effective than in what is easy.

They finish what they start.

They know how to relax, enjoy what they have in their life & to have fun.

How do your habits match up with these habits?

Do you need a coach to help you with building new habits?http://www.wilsonmotivational.com/

Staying Up When the World is Down

Ten tips

Here are 10 tips to get you started:

1. Incline Your Mind Toward Joy.

Have you noticed that your mind tends to register the negative events in your life more than the positive? Reverse this by consciously savoring the positive experiences you have as they happen. Let the good feelings sink in!

2. Lighten Your Load.

To make a habit of letting go of worries and negative thoughts, start by letting go on the physical level. Cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien recommends giving or throwing away 27 items a day for nine days. This deceptively simple practice will help you break attachments that no longer serve you.

3. Get Your "Happiness Rest."

One sure-fire way to boost your happiness level is to go to bed by 10 p.m. for three consecutive nights. You'll find that the world is a different place when you're rested and fresh.

4. Become an Inverse Paranoid.

Choose to believe that this is a friendly universe—one that's out to support you, rather than out to get you. When you find yourself facing a challenging situation, ask yourself, "If this were happening for a higher purpose, what would it be?"

5. Hang with the Happy.

Study after study indicates that happiness is contagious! Spend as much time as possible with people who are supportive and upbeat to amplify those qualities in your own life.

6. Don't Believe Everything You Think.

Interrupt the downward spiral of worry and anxiety by questioning your negative thoughts. Just because you think something doesn't make it true.

7. Seek Out Silence.

Prayer, meditation, and being in nature have long been recognized as ways to access a deep place of peace and strength inside.

8. Move Your Body.

All the experts agree that some form of exercise is essential for maintaining optimal well-being. The next time you start to feel glum, get your blood moving faster-even if it's just by standing up and moving around while you talk on the phone, or parking farther away from your destination.

9. Ground Yourself in Gratitude.

Research shows that thinking of the things you're grateful for in life definitely raises your happiness level. Writing them down is even more powerful. So start a gratitude journal today.

10. Wish Others Well.

Try "beaming love" to people—your friends and family, as well as strangers you pass on the street. It fills your own heart in the process.

Marci Shmoff

Can you name all ten tips. If not read again.

Change your thoughts and you change you life.

New offering by James McIntosh

"Coaching the Executive for Ongoing Success"

A guided process based on »Crossing The Nonsense Divide: Steps to Finding Your Path to a Successful Life«« and »Make the Nonsense at Work Work for You.

Explanations on website:
1. The power of 'why'.
2. Why use an executive coach?
3. What is the role of the executive coach?
4. So what is the aim of the executive coach?
5. What should you look for in an executive coach?
6. Am I experienced, skilled and inclined?
7. How does the process work?
8. How much does it cost?

Book Your Free Evaluation Session

804 754 0195 or email

******************************************

Also, Coaching available for everybody on...

"Getting Beyond Stuck"

Are you feeling stuck? Then this is for you.

It is a guided process, based on the book by James Henry McIntosh: Crossing The Nonsense Divide: Steps to Finding Your Path to a Successful Life.

Check it Out - www.nonsenseatwork.com

Brought to you by Wilson Motivational Enterprises.

Here's the link to my Nonsense slideshare... http://ping.fm/PEkUt - check it out.

President Obama please read...

...out-loud to Secretary Clinton.

Go slowly...

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
~~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931 - 2005 ~~~~~

I don't have the solutions to our Country's problems but I sure wish our answers would take into account the above statement.

God Bless America.

TED Who?

Do you know TED?

If you don't know TED you are missing a real treat.
TED is a collection of videos from conferences featuring some of the most famous, inspiring, educational and brilliant minds of our times.
http://www.ted.com/

Go directly to one of the best talks and you will want to can keep going from there.
Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuro-scientist discussing her stroke and how it changed her life
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

It will only takes 20 minutes to change your world.

Survive and Thrive on Chaos

This is a neat article from

“poweredbypeople.blogspot.com”

The most effective people in the new century will be those who thrive in a world of chaos. They do not believe the world is actually "chaotic" because the laws of cause-and-effect still apply. You still get results based on intelligent action and focused effort. But they understand we live in a world that "seems" chaotic and they thrive on it.

Peak performers in the 21st century will be comfortable with ambiguity. They know they will never have enough information. They know the rules are constantly changing, and yet they play "flat-out" because they expect to win. They know that action and calm, purposeful effort in the midst of the storm are still the keys to success.

In the midst of chaos, winners do not fall into over-whelm and dysfunction. They get things done. As the old cliché says, “When life gives them lemons, they make lemonade.”

Several things are necessary to thrive in the midst of chaos

1. Exceptional boundaries. Winners structure their own lives and refuse to get caught up in other people's drama. They know how to close their doors and ignore disruptions. They know where they are going and they tolerate few, if any, distractions.

2. Exceptional vision. They know their priorities and their desired outcomes. They know what they want and they can see, taste, smell and even touch their results in advance. They have goals rather than mere hopes or dreams.

3. Exceptional self-direction. Winners are in charge of their lives and chaos around them is merely someone else's drama swirling nearby. They maintain their inner calm. They are not easily lost or confused. They know their priorities and their direction, even when their flight is canceled.

4. Exceptional optimism. They see chaos as opportunity. Chaos "stirs the pot" and opens doors. Rather than annoying or frustrating them, they love it! On a wild and windy day, a rainbow may appear at any moment and they welcome it.

5. Exceptional Reserves. They take care of themselves. They eat well, rest often, save and invest wisely and when opportunity knocks, they are waiting to answer the door. They operate from strength and stability, while a chaotic world wreaks havoc on the competition.

Winners thrive on chaos. They'll see and seize opportunities, and they'll love the wild ride. In a world swirling with change and chaos, they invest in themselves and they get things done.
********

Be a winner - You’ll be fine in 2009.

Nonsense-at-Work Newsletter

by James H. Mcintosh
Consultant, Writer, Coach and Speaker
http://www.nonsensenseatwork.www/

February 2009

Cooperate to compete, or struggle easier

People are strange. We dominate the planet mainly because of our ability to work together and yet we compete with each other like crazy.

Our ability for premeditated team work has enabled us to expand our horizons beyond our wildest dreams. And as our reality has expanded to match our dreams we have increased our need to know where we fit in the scheme of things.

Here’s the really strange bit. Our sense of self-worth is mostly based on comparison with others. In other words, I measure myself against my neighbors and colleagues.

Sadly, what this often comes down to is that my success depends on your 'un-success'.

Here’s the real paradox: ‘I win if you lose’ but ‘we survive if we work together’.

We have survived and thrived as a species because we tend to resolve this paradox by finding meaning beyond the expense of our neighbors and colleagues. Please remember this as you compete your way out of this recession.

And while you’re cooperating to compete like crazy, remember this other bit of crazy. We don’t mind so much if bad things happen to us as long as the bad things happen to all of us.

You don’t believe me? Look around. Considering all the bad things happening at the moment, how many really unhappy faces do you see? How unhappy are you, really?

But if you were the only one struggling financially, the only one without a job, how would you feel?

Unfortunately, the opposite also happens. When others are successful, and we are not, we become resentful. Like lobsters. A man asked a fisherman carrying a bucket of lobsters, “Won’t the lobsters climb out?” “No”, replied the fisherman, “When one gets near the top, the others pull him back down.”

So be suspicious when politicians, or anyone else for that matter, tell you that ‘we’re all in this together’.

What if they’re wrong? I mean, what if there is an easier way to struggle?

Many of us were taught that life is a struggle. We heard adults say silly things like ‘no pain, no gain’ and ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again’.

You might be older now, but are you any wiser? Look around you. Nature has many examples showing the success of the easy way. Like rivers. Rivers don’t struggle to reach the sea, they simply find the easiest downward path, even if it means going in the ‘wrong’ direction now and then.

If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try and try again. Fail if you must, then try something else. Even if you must go in what seems to be the wrong direction for a time.

Above all, don’t program your mind with those silly sayings every time your success isn’t immediate. Do what nature does - if at first you don’t succeed, try something easier.

And if the thought of doing that swamps you with guilt? Then don’t go for ‘easy’. Go for ‘different’.

***********
Do you need a speaker for one of your events? James is your man - check out http://www.nonsenseatwork.com/ and contact him.

The Excitement of Discipline

"A Smart Thought."

The excitement of discipline.

Is this an oxymoron? Who cares? Go for it.

To be excited about discipline is the place to start when making any kind of change in your life. While motivation gets the change started it's discipline that gets it done.

Is the best you can do all you can do? The answer is No!

Suppose you fell to the floor right now and did as many push ups as you possibly could. Now let's say the best you could do is 5. You look at me and you say, "Hey Jim, 5 is the best I can do." And maybe it's true that 5 is the best you can do.

But is 5 all you can do? The answer is No! If you rest a little while you can do 5 more. and you rest a little more, you can do 5 more. How did you go from 5 to 15?

It's a miracle!

Did you know you can keep on doing that: Do a little, rest a little. Suddenly, you've gone from 5 to 25. How did that happen?

It's a miracle!

Would you believe: Discipline and a little rest built into your change plan will deliver you a miracle.

It's not the notes that make the music. It's the space between the notes that does the job. It's not stress that does you in. It's the lack of building a little recovery time in between that keeps you from being the best you can be.

As "Human's Doing" we have a major focus on end-results/accomplishments and fail to remember we are "Human Beings." Unlike machines we require mental, physical and spiritual maintenance time. It's well known by highly successful "Human Beings" that a disciplined/scheduled maintenance program in all three categories will let you be the best they can be as a "Human Doing.

"Working smarter and not harder will bring the most success - Go for it!!!!

Six Myths of Coaching

Coach

The Real Jim Wilson

Would you like to be more successful?
Would you like to have more fun and love in your life?
Would you like to make more money?

As a business and personal development coach I find that many people have preconceived notions about the concept of “Coaching”. If you would like to hire a coach, the following “realities” about coaching will help you in the decision process.

Myth: Find a coach that has a similar personality to yours.

Reality: Coaching is about growth and commitment. Having someone of the same personality may limit your growth and development. Having a coach of a different personality style may offer a fresh perspective and force you to go outside your comfort zone to reach new potential.

Myth: Professional Coaching focuses strictly on your professional life.
Reality: You cannot totally separate your personal life from your work. A coach has to be ready to listen to any and all challenges. Coaching is about personal growth and development that can help people grow professionally.

Myth: You have the questions and your Coach has the answers.

Reality: Not always true. Many of the answers are inside you and a good coach will help you discover them. A coach needs to be a good listener first. He or she needs to correctly identify the areas of improvement and not always give advice or criticism.

Myth: Coaching is only for trouble or poor performing people.

Reality: The best coaching clients are the ones who have potential and are not reaching it or employees who have reached a stumbling block or plateau. It is much better to introduce coaching too early rather than too late.

Myth: You can’t change a person's personality. Therefore, coaching is limited in how far it can help.

Reality: True, you can’t necessarily change someone’s personality. However, coaching can give you a new awareness and new skills to help you change your behavior.

Check out http://www.wilsonmotivational.com/

Let's meet. I'll buy you a cup of coffee and talk about how we can work together in a coaching relationship.

Universal Laws

Where are you in this world of hard times and recession? Take a look at these seven laws of the Universe and know "this too will pass".

1. The Law of Gender:
Every “seed” has a gestation period. Ideas are spiritual seeds and will move into form or physical results. Believe this and watch your life change. Your goals will manifest in the perfect time. Know they will.

2. The Law of Cause and Effect:
What goes around, comes around. Whatever you send out into the universe comes back. Like causes produces like effects. Never worry about what you are going to get, concentrate on what you can give. Treat everyone with total respect. If you squeeze an orange you will get orange juice. Like causes always produce like effects.

3. The Law Of Relativity:
Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Practice relating your situation to something worse and yours will always look good. If you practice relating your situation to something better, yours will always look worse. Nothing is good or bad until you relate it to something.

4. The Law Of Perpetual Transmutation:
Energy moves into physical form. The image you hold in your mind most often, materializes in results in your life. What are you imagining? This is an actual law of the universe. Use it to your advantage.

5. The Law Of Polarity:
Everything has an opposite, Constantly look at the good in people and situations. Good ideas equals good vibrations! Always recognize the opposite, then pick what you want to concentrate on, remembering law #4.

6. The Law Of Vibration:
Everything vibrates, nothing rests. Conscious awareness of vibration is feeling. How do you feel? Your thoughts control your paradigms and your vibrations. When you are not feeling good, become aware of what you are thinking, then think of something pleasant. Remember again, law #4.

7. The Law Of Rhythm:
This too shall pass. Some of the things the Law of Rhythm affects is the tide that goes out and comes back -- night follows day -- there is good in everything and there is bad. Don't feel the bad in the downswing without realizing that good times are coming. Remember again, law #4.

Read and study these seven Universal Laws.

Make a lot of great days in 2009.

Ponderable

Some nonsense.

Why did Albert Einstein say...

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it"?

What did he mean?

It seems to me that the only way to make all your problems disappear is to transcend them.

Now all I need to know is how to transend them.

Can you help?

Keyboard me...

Out, Out Damn Procrastination

Welcome to 2009!



Here's a "Round Tuit" - Just use it and print out the 10 Ideas and work on each one as listed!



10 ideas to put into practice.

1. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Break larger projects into manageable "bites" and create a timeline for you to accomplish these smaller tasks.

2. Remember that each project expands to the time allotted to it, so set a limit for yourself: "I am going to return all my phone calls in one hour." "I will file papers for 30minutes." "I will spend 15 minutes picking up around the house." Set a timer. You will be amazed how much you can get done when you focus your time.

3. Check your self-talk. Do you frequently say, "I gotta...," "I should...," or "I have to..."? Replace this self-talk with "I choose to..." and recognize that you are at choice about what you do. If you don't choose to do it, don't do it!

4. Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. Worth a look at Brian Tracey's ideas --http://eatthatfrogmovie.com/
Tackle that "toad"-the task you have been putting off, the one that is hanging over your head-because it will lift an immense load and you will feel much more productive.

5.Train yourself to trim the F.A.T. When papers come into your office or home, give yourself these three choices: File, Act, Toss. (Note that "I'll just put it here for now "is not one of the choices.)

6. Relieve yourself of the stress caused by all of the clutter in your home and office by setting up some systems to manage the paper in your life. A good filing system and a tickler file system are essential elements.

7. Make a weekly appointment with yourself to plan your coming week. During your planning session, schedule important activities and tasks so you have a concrete plan for following through with your intentions.

8. When planning your time, include both urgent (time-sensitive) and non-urgent but important activities in your plan. An example of an urgent activity might be a meeting or a project with an upcoming deadline. A non-urgent activity might be exercise or relationship-building-something important but not time-sensitive or deadline-driven.

9. Make appointments with yourself to get administrative work done, such as paying bills or catching up with your reading. Treat this time as you would an appointment with someone else.

10. Take 15 minutes at the end of each day to put things away and look at the calendar for the next day. Gather what you need ahead of time so you will be prepared for tomorrow.

Go for the gold.

Make lots of great days in 2009.

It's up to me in 2009

Q ...

In 2009 -

Do you want to be more successful?
Do you want to have more fun and love?
Do you want to make more money?

A ...
If you want to change or improve anything in your life, you must begin by changing the inner aspects of your mind.

Most people think that the problems in their lives are caused by other people and external circumstances. They are shocked and angered to be told that they are the primary architects of everything that happens to them.

They want others to change. They want the world to change. But they do not want to change themselves.

You can control only one thing in the world, and that is the way you think. However, when you take complete control over your thinking, you take control over all the other aspects of your life.

By thinking and talking only about what you want, and by refusing to think or talk about what you don't want, you can design your future success.

If you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life. The only way to improve the quality of your life is to transform the quality of your perceptions.

Are you (no)where or are you (now)here?

Since there is no limit to how much better you can think, there is no real limit to how much better your life can be.

"If it's to be, it's up to me!
To be more successful.
To have more fun and love in my life.
To make more money."

Don't miss this video --Are You Going to Finish Strong? - Video

2009 - The New Year

New Year's Traditions

Where did they come from?

The image of the old year is represented by Father Time, known in Greek mythology as the god Chronus, and depicted as an elderly, bearded man, dressed in a robe, carrying an hourglass representing time's constant movement. He also carried a scythe, linking time's passage with the inevitability of death.

The symbol of the New Year is often depicted as a baby, and this custom has it's own interesting history. The ancient Greeks paraded a baby in a basket, representing the annual rebirth of Dionysus, the God of wine, as the spirit of fertility.

The custom of sharing a kiss at midnight comes from ancient masked balls. The mask symbolized the evil spirits of the old year, and the kiss the purification into the new year.

The song we sing comes from a poem written in the 1700s by a Scottish poet Robert Burns. "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago."

Well I declare! Now you know.

May your 2009 be the best ever.