Saturday, August 8, 2009

Listening better

I never learned much in school about being a good listener. And yet , I have to practice it all the time as a personal development and business coach.

Here's what I do...

First, I put up my ears, then I put my tongue between my teeth and do what Andrew Weiss advises for deep listneing:

Be present. Give the other person your complete attention Be aware of what is happening inside you.

• Be open. Put aside all your assumptions about who this person is and try to listen to who they are right now. Ask questions that convey your deep concern.

• Stay aware of your emotions. Notice what happens to you when you are hearing something you find difficult or painful. Often someone's issues will deeply touch our own. We need to recognize those feelings, breathe deeply, and release those feelings in order to continue listening with attention.

• Make space. If emotions run too high, ask for a short break. This may be painful for the other person, but tell them you will be a better listener if you take some time to let your own emotions drain out and do something to feed your compassion and love.

Listen first and talk second is good for relationhips.

And that's no nonsense...

Make lots of gr8 days.